Learn 4 actionable steps to stop settling and start thriving in your career today!
There’s a well-known quote from Buddha that I love:
"Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” - Buddha
Work shouldn’t feel like a never-ending cycle of coffee-fueled drudgery. Instead, it should feel aligned with who you are—your strengths, values, and all the fabulousness that makes you, you.
But what if your job feels more like a chore than a calling? Well, my friend, this is where you take charge and negotiate your way toward a career that doesn’t just pay the bills but also makes you want to jump out of bed (okay, maybe not jump, but at least roll out with a little enthusiasm).
Let me tell you about a client of mine, an SX Type 2—also known as a “one-to-one Two” for my Enneagram lovers out there. She was stuck in a role that didn’t light her fire, so we negotiated her way to something more fulfilling. Here’s how you can do the same, without necessarily having to change jobs—just yet.
Why Negotiating Isn’t Just About More Money (Hint: Fulfillment is Priceless)
Let’s be real: negotiating for a higher salary is great. (Who doesn’t love extra cash?) But here’s a little secret I’ve learned: more money doesn’t always equal more fulfillment. I’ve been there—thinking that an extra zero at the end of the paycheck would suddenly make everything better.
Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
True fulfillment comes from aligning your job with your strengths, values, and those quirks that make you awesome. And guess what? You can negotiate these aspects of your job. In fact, you should.
Gross & Laibson (2020) found that when people negotiate for things like job responsibilities, flexibility, and growth opportunities (not just salary), their job satisfaction skyrockets. Not surprising, right? It’s like finally wearing those shoes that fit perfectly—you walk better, you feel better, and suddenly, everything feels a little more aligned.
The Power of Purpose: Aligning Your Job with Who You Are
So, how do you start aligning your work with your true self? The first step is figuring out what’s not working. You can’t negotiate what you haven’t identified. Ask yourself:
What parts of my job make me want to take a nap—immediately?
Am I using my superpowers (aka strengths) regularly, or am I just stuck in a vortex of tasks that suck the life out of me?
Are my core motivations being addressed, or am I just going through the motions?
Identifying these misaligned areas is your starting point for reshaping your role. For example, my Type 2 client realized she was great at building strong, trusting relationships but was stuck in an administrative role. Once we figured that out, she negotiated more client-facing responsibilities, and—voilà!—suddenly, her work had meaning again.
How to Start Negotiating Like a Boss (Without Actually Being the Boss)
Okay, so you’ve identified what needs to change. Now what? Here’s where the real fun begins: negotiation. And no, you don’t need a fancy law degree or a bullhorn to get started.
Tip #1 - Clarify Your Strengths and What You Want
First, figure out what lights you up at work. What are you naturally good at? What tasks make you forget to check the clock every 10 minutes? Now, think about how those strengths can contribute to your organization’s success. Knowing this will help you make a stronger case when you approach your boss.
Tip #2 - Sell the Benefits to the Boss
You don’t have to present this like you’re asking for a favor. Oh no. Frame the conversation around how these changes will benefit the organization. For example, my client focused on how taking on more client-facing roles would improve trust and loyalty with their clients. Spoiler alert: it worked.
Think about it—if you’re a Type 9 and a whiz at mediating team conflicts, suggest to your boss that you take on more of that (trust me, no one loves dealing with conflicts). Everyone wins. You get work that aligns with your strengths, and your team gets a smoother working environment. Boom.
Tip #3 - Be Ready to Compromise
Look, negotiation isn’t always about getting exactly what you want. (Shocker, I know.) Be open to meeting halfway. Maybe your boss won’t let you ditch a task entirely, but they might let you delegate parts of it to someone else. The goal is to move closer to alignment, even if it’s in small steps.
Tip #4 - Stack Up Small Wins
Start small if you have to. My client didn’t suddenly go from admin tasks to client queen overnight. She began by negotiating a few more client-facing responsibilities and built from there. Each small win builds momentum, giving you more confidence to negotiate further changes down the line.
Stop Settling, Start Thriving
Here’s what I want you to do this week: grab a pen and notebook (or open a new note on your phone—I see you, digital folks), and jot down what’s working and what’s not in your current role. Once you’ve identified those energy-draining tasks, think about how you can shift your responsibilities to better align with your strengths and motivations. Then, plan a conversation with your boss where you frame these changes as a win-win.
The bottom line is this: you have more control over your work life than you might think. Negotiating the aspects of your job that align with your strengths and values is the key to building a career that feels more like a calling. Don’t wait for your role to magically reflect your purpose—take the lead and shape it to better fit who you are.
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For anyone looking to deepen their self-understanding and enhance their effectiveness, now is the perfect time to explore your Enneagram type and discover personalized strategies for managing stress and thriving in any situation., I offer the Breakthrough Blueprint service.
As always, I LOVE hearing from you… what are you taking from today’s content?
Comment below or email me at info@brandystamper.com
Until next time, keep thriving!
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